Away From Me
by Digidynasty
Summary: I am the Chosen of Mana. I have been given the destiny and fate to save the world with my passing. But as I lose my humanity, I begin to doubt my faith. Lloyd, save me... (One-Shot song fic)


Away From Me

As I drop the cup I had been holding, my long time friend looks at me with sadness. He knows my secret. I, the one who held the beauty of life so highly, am now merely an empty shell of what I once was. I cannot feel, I cannot sleep, and I dare not eat. The trials would be tough, I knew that, was told that from the very beginning…but this?

As he wraps his arms around me and apologizes, I smile despite my fears. With only three seals down, I knew it could only get worse. Soon, I would barely be what you would call human. Death I could accept, even embrace with open arms, knowing my passing would bring everyone the end to their suffering and pain. But to continue living without all the characteristics, no the gifts and blessings, that make me human?

I assume, somewhere deep inside, that this is what it means to be an angel. If so, then I will accept it, but still I'm afraid. Will I lose the ability to see? Will the Lloyd Irving – dear friend since before I could remember – disappear from my eyes, to never look upon his smiling and encouraging face? What of my hearing? Will I never hear Genis and Lloyd argue and complain to each other…the strange yet unique times I seem to cherish more and more in these difficult days. Will Professor Sage's lessons fall upon deaf ears?

No, I guess not. I won't be going home. Grandmother told me once I left on my journey, I would never be able to come back. I would ascend into the heavens and live with my father, Lord Remiel. But, is he really my father? Am I the child of an angel? These thoughts do not fit the Chosen of Mana, but they are what I feel. What's wrong with me?

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll  
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds  
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to  
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved

I hear my friends call out to me…but all I can see is darkness all around. I cannot speak, I cannot act of my own accord for my body is no longer my own. It moves on its own, not listening to my pleas to stop. I want to break free of this prison and be my old self!

This woman…she reaches for Lloyd's present. The necklace he gave me…the keycrest I prayed would be the key to unlocking my soul, but it was not to be. No! I don't want you to have it! "No! Get away from me!" I call out, batting her hand away.

Shocked at the sound of my own voice, I turn and see the surprised expressions of everyone I held dear. What was that thing trapping them? Was this woman the reason? She tries to lash out at me again, attempting to plunge me back into the darkness. Well I won't do it! I won't let myself be pushed around anymore! Not by destiny and not by you! I pull out my chakrams, knowing they were always near to protect me…just like Lloyd, and she jumps back from me.

Was I to be one of her puppets? Was this what all the former Chosen went through? I can't believe that! The Goddess Martel would never allow the imprisonment of her children to go on like that! No! This is wrong, all wrong! I don't want to go with you! I want to be with Lloyd! Why was I born the Chosen? What does the Goddess plan for me?

I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
_away from this place I have made_  
Won't you take me away from me

It's late at night and everyone's asleep, but I can't sleep. My body won't stop hurting and now it's begun to change…covered in green colored looking scales. What am I becoming? Is it because I've defied Martel and chosen to defy my fate? Haven't I suffered enough!?

I want to cry, but I still cannot. Though I have regained some of my humanity, some of it seems locked away with what was once my heart and soul. Yes, I have awakened, but I am changed…different. How can I go back to being happy and cheerful when so much is going on in the world, so much more suffering than I ever dreamed, and it seems impossible to correct?

Everything I learned, everything I was taught and believed in was all a lie. And as these sorrowful thoughts fill my mind and body, it seems the ugliness inside of me has decided to manifest itself on the outside…to tell the world that I am no longer pure of heart and soul. I am darker, wiser some would say, but no longer the Colette Brunel that left on her Journey of Regeneration all those months ago. My eyes have opened and have seen the shadow coexisting in the light I once thought ruled everywhere and everything. But it's not true. It's far from the truth.

Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins  
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed  
I can't go on like this  
I loathe all I've become

Mithos, the one responsible for everything bad in this world, all the suffering not only myself but everyone else has had to endure, manifests himself out of the cruxis crystal Genis saved from the angel lord's castle and attempts to take over Lloyd's body. As all this unfolds before me, I find a strange sense of resolve in understanding that he does not deserve such a fate. Lloyd, who grew up without a mother and only now has been rejoined with his father, deserves to live out a new, better life!

Get away from him Mithos! My mind screams as I rush forward and push Lloyd to the ground. I cannot save them all, I know that now, but at least let me save this one person – the one whom I love the most! Goddess Martel, if you really do exist, please allow me to save this one life!

I feel his presence enter my body as I freely descend back into the darkened world of which I've had nothing but nightmares about since I left. Here, in the depths of my heart, where all my fears and regrets thrive, I see no light within me. This is what I truly am. Why couldn't I see it before?

But even still, though I deserve such a fate - unlike you Lloyd - I wish to be with you again in the world of light, the world you envisioned. Everything that has transpired has been my fault. If only I had figured everything out sooner, I could've saved you before all this. But please, I beg your forgiveness and ask that you pull me free from the darkness. Even if you must kill Mithos and send me to the Other side, I will gladly accept my death. So please, Lloyd, don't leave me in the darkness for all eternity!

I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
_away from this place I have made_  
Won't you take me away from me

Mithos is gone and I have returned to your side. I'm so happy. You were so concerned for me, even if you didn't have to you still came. I want to tell you I love you, have loved you since years before, but the words won't come out. I simply tell you I'm fine – even with his crystal within me somewhere…perhaps in the darkness inside my heart? I reached for you and you came. Am I to be granted my happiness even after all I have done? Maybe there's a goddess after all…

I'm tired Lloyd. Tired of pretending to be something I'm not anymore. Will you still care for me if I am not the cheerful Colette you knew back in Iselia? Though she is dead, I still retain pieces of her. I do not pretend to assume the good of strangers anymore, or that everything will always turn out okay in the end, because it's not true. But maybe with you by my side, I can learn to believe again. I can't do this alone. I need you with me, Lloyd.

Lost in a dying world I reach for something more  
I have grown so weary of this lie I live

We did it. Mithos is no more and the worlds are one. People will live in happiness and I will continue to be by your side. I do not like whom I've become, so dark and pessimistic, and as I return to Iselia and am reunited with my dear Grandmother and father, I am only constantly reminded of my failure as Chosen. For I did not save the world in the end, you did…Lloyd.

My eyes are open now to the real world and how it works instead of the fairy tale world that existed in the books of old. I have been ripped away from the me of the past and have become a wiser, older Colette Brunel. And though I could have been lost many times along my path, you kept me on the straight and narrow. You focused my attention on what I could do instead of what I couldn't do or could've done. Thank you Lloyd. When you leave on your journey to collect the exspheres, I will be with you, so that perhaps I can return the favor. To protect you from the darkness of the world. The darkness…that took me away from me.

I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
_away from this place I have made_  
Won't you take me away from me


End file.
